A Hero
by Kaylawayla
Summary: "I like to think, when Varric's telling all those grand tales about me, that I'm the hero in my own story. But I wonder, you know? If I'm the bad guy in someone else's." A growing collection of snippets from Anders' and Hawke's time together, though not all about heroes.
1. A Hero

******AN: Thought of this while trying to find sleep. Angst, some sadness... Just couldn't go without writing it. Do enjoy.**

It was Diamondback night at the Hanged Man, and Hawke's merry band of misfits were currently in Varric's private suite, dueling with cards. The usually attentive and energetic Hawke seemed lost in thought, however, and soon she was out of the game. It was still long after Anders, however, and he was pretty sure that said something about his Diamondback skills. She quietly rose and walked out of the room, and no one seemed to notice aside from Varric when he followed her out.

At first, he didn't see her. He was fairly sure she was still there- he could still feel her magic thrumming close to him as if it were his very own. Then he spotted the red of her robe heading for the exit, and hastily caught up to her. She didn't even seem to notice his arrival at her side, but kept walking until they were in the cool streets of Lowtown.

"Are you all right, Hawke? If you're not feeling well, I could try and help…" She didn't say anything at first, didn't even look at him. Then, she let out a breath of air she had been holding and glanced at him before her gaze skittered away.

"I'm fine, thank you. No need to worry about me, you can go back to the game if you wish." Anders really hated when Hawke was in this kind of mood. It didn't happen often; he'd only seen it twice, and only after the departure of her brother to the Grey Wardens. So, he fell back on his usual attempt for comfort when she was like this; cheeky humor.

"And leave a pretty lady like you alone out here? Perish the thought! Some poor sod might come along and try to do something funny and we'd just be cleaning him off the streets the next morning." Usually his first attempt got him a sliver of a smile at least, and encouraged him to continue. But this time there was nothing. So he stood there, frozen with worry, as the noise of the Hanged Man carried out into the streets.

"I like to think, when Varric's telling all those grand tales about me, that I'm the hero in my own story. But I wonder, you know? If I'm the bad guy in someone else's." She couldn't possibly know how much those words struck something in him. He believed in his heart that he was the hero, fighting for mage freedom all around. But in his head, somehow, he knew he wasn't a hero of any sort. He might have been, before Justice, if he'd stayed with the Wardens. But now…

He knew he was the bad guy.

"I know how you feel, Hawke, but… But trust me when I say that you are in no way the bad guy. Any people that you've killed? _They're_ the bad guys. And you only kill them because you know there's no other way to save the innocents they endanger. I know you well enough by now that if you could you'd try and save them, too. You may be the only hero left these days." She looked at him in surprise; she was used to him being serious, of course, but not over anything that didn't concern his plight. She must have seen something in his eyes then, because her expression softened and she crossed over to give him a light peck on the cheek as thanks before turning to go back inside.

He just stood there, one hand pressed to his cheek in awe, and wishing with all his might that he could at least be _her_ hero.


	2. Second Sight

**AN: I hadn't planned on extending the one shot further, but then I thought I could just come up with other little snippets of their time together. They might all be in Anders' point of view, but I haven't decided. This one is pretty short, but I hope you like it.**

He would have liked to say it was love at first sight, but then again, Anders was a horrible liar nowadays. In fact, when he had first seen her, he was pretty sure he hated her when she came barging into his clinic right after a straining session of complex healing. The boy had been near death, and he really didn't need some up-jump refugee with the Coterie demanding him for money (at least that's what he thought she was going to do) as he slumped against the wall before reaching for his staff.

But that changed when she smiled at him. It was an uneasy smile, one that tried to convey that she wasn't there to hound him or anything, but Justice would not _shut up_. Rage filled his words as he accused her of threatening his clinic, hoping his eyes weren't still glowing portals of the Fade. But her smile did not waver, and he found himself confused as it turned to a cheeky grin.

"Strange occupation for a Warden… Aren't you all about taint and death, not healing and salvation?"

_Great_, he thought, _another sarcastic know-it-all_. He deliberately ignored her attempt at humor, and her growing smile that was doing strange things to his heart and stomach, instead focusing on her mentions of the Grey Wardens. When he mentioned Ser Pounce-a-lot, her eyes widened.

"That is the most _perfect_ name for a cat! Why did I never think of that?" She wondered aloud, glancing at the man with a huge broadsword attached to his back that looked very similar to her. He just glared at her.

Anders decided he did not like that guy the most.

"But moving on… I'm Hawke, and this is my brother, Carver, along with my new best buddy; Varric! You're Anders, right?" He nodded, growing confused yet again. He'd heard that name before in the Undercity, and he couldn't help but wonder why she was seeking him out. The dwarf answered his silent question quickly enough by saying they were planning an expedition to the Deep Roads and wanted to know if he had any maps of the area, or even some tips. He barely repressed a shudder at the words _Deep_ and _Roads_ put together, and was about to just flat out say no, but she was looking so hopeful he found himself smiling a little.

"A favor for a favor, Hawke?"

Hours later, he returned to his clinic with a heavy heart. He knew she had followed him after ordering her entourage to go home, and he was pretty sure she planned to kill him. He couldn't really blame her.

"I'm not going to ask about the magic, Anders. I could… feel a spirit within you from the moment we met, so it was no surprise. What I want to know is if you wouldn't mind me giving you a hug? I have it on good authority that Hawke hugs can cure even the deadliest of diseases." As he turned to look at her, he decided that love at first sight was not all the rage.

Love at second sight was _far_ better, in his opinion.


	3. The Dress

**AN: Can't say I like this one as much as the others, but I hope you do enjoy!**

Anders thought Hawke looked stunning in a dress.

Although, if he were being completely honest with himself, he thought she looked stunning even in blood covered robes, so perhaps he was a bit biased. But in a dress… Hawke just simply glowed. He continued to stare at her through the window of the seamstress's where she stood in the middle of it as the seamstress made little adjustments here and there.

He knew it was probably considered creepy for him to be staring at her so blatantly when she wasn't even aware of his presence, but he was just defensive enough to think that it was her fault for being so… beautiful. Sighing, he turned to continue the trek from Hightown to Darktown after his most recent visit to check in on the ladies at the Blooming Rose. He froze when her voice streamed out of the now open door of the seamstress's and called out to him.

"Anders! Thank the Maker you're here, I _really_ need a second opinion from someone who _isn't_ my mother. Come in, quickly!" He debated saying that he had to go back to his clinic, but since he could deny her nothing, he went into the shop and he had to make sure he didn't drool. She looked even more magnificent up close.

"You… You look even more beautiful than usual, Hawke, and that's saying something." It took him a moment to realize Hawke was staring at him, wide-eyed and mouth agape. He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably, silently cursing his mouth for running off without a care in the world. Hawke seemed to snap back to life then.

"Thank you, Anders. Although now mother won't even consider letting me go to the party in anything _but_ this dress, your words are… much appreciated." He nodded and moved to leave, but Leandra, Hawke's mother, latched onto his arm before he could make his hasty escape.

Anders had a feeling he was about to be thrown into a trap he wasn't entirely sure he didn't want to get caught up in.

"You know, dear, now that I think about it… You hate having all of those men, what was it you said, 'prancing' in front of you to get your attention, correct? Well, why not have an escort, such as Anders? The nobles would believe you to be taken, and perhaps that would stop some of their attentions."

Hawke was extremely confused at her mother's suggestion, Anders could tell. Hawke had already told him that Leandra was trying with all her might to get her to marry, and now that her attempts at matchmaking had seemingly stopped Hawke looked very concerned for her mother's health.

Anders knew far better than to think this wasn't an attempt at pushing them together, but he appreciated Leandra's effort to get him to spend more time with Hawke away from their adventures he couldn't really find himself mad at the idea.

Besides, Anders could _never_ turn down the opportunity to dance. He had a mean Spicy Shimmy.


	4. A Key

**AN: Well, here's the latest little snippet I have somehow come up with. Hope you like. ^.^**

Anders could almost laugh at the absurdity of Hawke catching a cold. In fact, he did laugh, earning him a weak slap from the cold-carrier herself. She had shown up at the clinic, sniffling and demanding he fix her immediately. She then sat herself down on a nearby cot, and he raised a hand to feel her forehead. It was nearly sizzling.

"Maker's breath, Hawke, what did you do to get such a cold?"

"Let's just say I'll never try and take a dip in the pond when Isabela's near. I had to wait more than an _hour_ in that water for her to return my clothes, and it got _very_ cold." She grumbled off some very impressive and scary threats, pure malice in her voice. He managed to disguise his next laugh as a cough.

"Well, it's a quick fix, at least." He only had to send a little wave of healing energy through her body for her to be back to her cheerful self. She took in a deep breath through her nose to relish the ability to breathe through them again, but ended up gagging as the foul stench of Darktown reached her.

"Yeah, breathing in Darktown does not come highly recommended, Hawke."

"Stuff it, sparkle-fingers." He rolled his eyes and walked over to a patient that had just entered, expecting her to go after leaving some sort of funny gesture or note like she usually did. Last time it had been a revision of his own manifesto- done by Hawke herself, of course. He couldn't count the number of times she had written in "Meredith's a loony" in between his own scrabble. He had sent her _one_ missive saying that, _one_, and she brought it up whenever she could. He didn't mind it so much though- she would always giggle adorably afterwards.

But when he looked back, there was nothing. He even went back over to check if he just didn't see it from a distance, but no; she had seemingly left him nothing. He tried to bite back the sudden wave of disappointment, but it still washed over him as he frowned and moved on to the next task.

Hours later, after locking up, he was still fighting the disappointment when a knock sounded on his door. He reached it as fast as he could, knowing that when someone knocked at this time of night it was usually urgent. He was surprised to say the least when he was not greeted by a horribly injured person, but by Hawke's slightly nervous face.

"Hawke!" He started, opening the door wider to let her come in. She swept past him, leaving him to lock the door again.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No. Yes. No. Maybe?" He became increasingly worried as Hawke continued to prattle anxiously, barely making any sense. It took a few minutes, but he waited until she wore herself out and sat down on a cot, twiddling her thumbs nervously. He sat down beside her, wondering why she wouldn't look at him.

"Do you remember the passageway to Estate we took to get the will a few years ago, just around the corner?"

"Ah… I suppose, yes. With all the slavers?" She nodded.

"That's the one! Wow, that doesn't sound too good out of context. Or any context, really. But, uh, what I'm trying to say is… Well, you're worried about Templars sniffing around here, right?"

"Yes, but I don't see how that has anything to do with…" He trailed off, frozen to the spot as Hawke began to tug down the collar of her robe. He barely noticed the simple yarn chain against her milky skin, holding something hidden in the deep valley between her breasts. Then she was yanking the chain up and out, and he tried not to mourn the sight of her skin being covered again.

She then took his hands, placing something cold and just a little bit heavy in them before glancing away. Before he could become too enthralled in the way she bit her lip nervously, he looked to his hands and saw a silver key placed in them.

"A key?"

"Yep… Ah, it's to the cellar. You know, in case you need a quick escape, you can hide in the Estate. Or you could use it to come and visit. I know it's a long walk from here to Hightown, so you know…" Anders's heart beat furiously against his chest as he secured the chain holding the key around his own neck before tucking it in his robes.

He was honored and touched she would give this to him. She trusted him enough to give him a key to her home, and she cared for him enough to give him a means of escape incase the Templars ever came sniffing too close. Before he could think better of it he gathered her in his arms and buried his face in her hair.

"Thank you, Hawke… You can't know how much this means to me."

"I suppose around as much as you accepting it means to me. But you're welcome, Anders. I would have left it earlier today, but I didn't want anyone else to come across it and take it. But this means you better come visit me more often; you don't have the excuse of a long walk anymore!" He laughed, pulling away, and she bestowed upon him a smile as radiant as the sun.

_Well_, he thought, _I'm certainly hooked_.


End file.
